I'm parched

My "promise" to myself was to blog my Lenten journey....  Well, it has not gone anywhere NEAR as planned.  In fact, so much so, that I have not been able to even put it into words.

I have been angry, sad, confused, hopeful, peaceful and a myriad of plenty of other emotions.  I almost feel bi-polar.  I have so many folks in my life that have had their lives turned upside down. 

God is in this.  I just can't hear Him right now.  Too close to the noise of chaos, I guess.  Maybe that is why He wakes me up so early every morning, so that He can have me before the rest of the world.  But in the quiet of the living room, I am still not hearing Him.  Maybe I am not trying hard enough.  I don't know.

I do know this:  I don't understand it.  And I wish it was different.  It's not necessarily the best response, but it is the best I got.  Just when I thought I had God all figured out.  Just when I thought I knew all the right words to use when I pray.  Just when I thought I was doing all the bible studies I needed.  Just when it looked like all was right in my world... 

In other news....  It was a pretty good day.  Got a five mile run in, got some stuff done around the house and got some food prepped for Small Group tomorrow night.  I also went to Wal-mart for 5 items and barely got out of their with only spending $137! Yep...nothing is going as planned.

With everyday is fresh new hope that I can do this.....

Well, the drying process has begun...

But that's okay.

I am thankful for the early morning wake up (before the alarm) to get downstairs and have some quiet time before the "loud time." My chair, my blanket, my devotionals and my God. Pretty good quiet time if I do say so myself. Don't remember the last time I slept until the alarm went off. Guess God decided I needed a few more minutes in prayer.

Another good day in church this morning! In the words of my pastor, 'We look most like Christ when we serve." Have always loved the phrase... How shall I serve? Am beginning to question that a bit. Don't feel I am completely connected these days. Maybe my time in some of these areas of ministry are coming to a close... Love my church and love the Lord! Just wondering if I am in a season of transition. Well, if God is in it, I know it will be wonderful.

Am behind in my bible study homework - not cool. This means I will be rushing thru it for our final session on Wednesday. A small "squirrel" here - if you get the opportunity to participate in Beth Moore's James Study...DO IT!!! I hate that I let life get ahead of bible study.

So many things going on. So many decisions to make. Am trying desperately to hear that still small voice... Really needing Him on the loud speaker! I joke with a dear friend that I am reading "Jesus Calling...but I ain't listening." Not because I don't want to, but because I am not completely trusting. If I listen and fail to do His Will, then I have failed. BUT...if I don't listen then it's kinda like I was never told... and that works, right?

Hubby got home tonight from his ROTC trip to Notre Dame. I am excited that he has decided to take Monday off and be home with me. :-)

Tomorrow I get to start it all over again. One day at a time...

Here's hoping for rain...

And as quickly as the rains came...

The dry spell arrives.

I spent the last several weeks singing in the rain... now I am sitting in the scorching hot sun praying for rain.

I guess its times like these that I need to grab His hand and look straight ahead. Like a child that has been rambling in and out of trouble and sticky situations, my Daddy now has my hand and is asking me to go with Him (and to behave, but He says it much sweeter than that).

But can I do it? Can I grab ahold, hang on and know that the one who holds me, holds the future. One day. That's all I have to do. Just one day. Tomorrow will take care of its self.

I must have asked God for either patience, cuz He's giving me the opportunity to practice it. Or maybe I asked for peace. Not in the my world, but just peace...He's giving me the opportunity to look for it in all situations. I must be more specific.

My Lenten commitment was to blog/journal every day. Well, I'm batting 500! In baseball those would be great stats!

Other than the "rains" drying up, it's been a pretty good day. Got 6 miles in with Ray (of sunshine), got a bunch accomplished at the house and it looks like I can head to bed shortly. I can live with that.

Journey on my friends...

Time to pen my thoughts...

I know, I know.... it's been what, two years or there abouts???

Last night, the pastor at our Ash Wednesday service asked that if anyone was going to Blog their Lenten journey, let him know and he would post our blog address. Well, it's not that I want to share, but his mention of blogging our Lenten journey intrigued me. I tried journaling for a bit and it was nice, but... I stopped and have not picked it back up. Since I love my computer so much, I thought I would try again.

I am at the tail end of my Beth Moore James study. And according to her description, I am in a rainy season - that's good! I feel blessed beyond measure right now. I am desiring to be in His Word. I am loving my quiet time and my study time. I don't feel like my spiritual life is perfect...far from it. But I am in a season where I see my distance from perfection as a challenge that I welcome! Tomorrow could be a different story. But I can only work on today. Tomorrow will work on itself.

Wish me luck... :-)