Friday, March 13, 2009
Thursday, March 12, 2009
A celebration in Texas tonight!
How do I even begin? Every post since this ordeal started has been a cry from the heart. Tonight it is a cry of a different kind. We got the PET Scan results - and they were awesome! Okay, yes he still has cancer, but there was NOTHING new on there. No abnormal activity! Nothing to indicate there was anything else going on!!!!! Ever medical person we saw today (after the results were posted to his computer file) were celebrating with us! The only tears I shed today were tears of joy.
It does not take a CSI to see the fingerprints of God all over this one. I eluded to messages of hope over the last week or so. But to be honest, I did not want to believe them. I am hoping, praying and CLAIMING a complete cure for the love of my life. My heart did not want to accept anything less than that. And I still don't. But I know God's plan is perfect. End of story. I think I am starting to believe... It started when (as I mentioned in an earlier post) I was looking for a scripture to use in my Beth Moore Scripture memory group. And low and behold, the Lord gave me, not what I was looking for, but what I needed. I left the house, right after that, to go be an escort for a member of Steve's staff that had a medical appointment. I grabbed the book I was reading and the next in the series (just in case I finished the first) and headed out the door. When I got to the hospital, I noticed the title of what I was reading "Test of Faith." Hmmm... interesting. It's just a cutesy Guide Post Series, so the titles are kind of irrelevant to me. They are feel good stories. But then I looked at the title of the next one - "The Best is Yet to be!" That Robert Browning quote was spoken about us on our wedding video by Steve's mom. Yes, I cried. Been doing a lot of that. So I sat down and started reading while Tina was in her appointment and there in the first couple of pages was a portion of the scripture I had been looking for. The character in the book cries, "Kate, get a hold of your self. God did not give you a spirit of fear!" Whoa. It was like a gift from God. I know, it's just a quote. But I really felt like God kept me from finding it so that He could give it to me personally. It's great to work for something, but isn't it wonderful when someone, out of the blue, just gives it to you, no strings attached? That scripture meant so much more that way. On Thursday night, when we knew were going in to get results the next morning, I pulled out a book by Beth Moore called "Jesus Day by Day." I had picked it up at Family Christian one day (it was on sale) and thought, "It's Beth Moore, I'm sure I will enjoy it." I put it on my night stand some time during the Christmas season and never opened it. Until Thursday, that is. I started flipping through the pages just looking and not feeling drawn to any particular passage. You know those ribbon like bookmarks that are attached to books? Well, this one had one. For reason I found myself looking to see what passage had been marked by the bookmaker. You wonder if they have a particular reason for where they place it, or is it just stuck in the center of the book. Well the passage that was marked spoke of how Satan's most effective device is to trap us over matters of faith - to make us doubt the goodness and mightiness of Christ! She also says: the hand of God is at work directing divine purpose and blessing in all the affairs of those who don't let perceived activity or inactivity of Christ trap them or make them stumble. Wow. You would think that would have been enough for me. But it wasn't, cuz there was a little more bookmark that would have stuck out at the bottom had it not been tucked up in another section of the book. Of, course, I went there. Here is what was there: "Try as I might, I cannot imagine what purpose some illnesses and premature deaths serve. But after years of loving and seeking my God, I trust who He is even when I have no idea what He's doing. Above all things, I believe God always has a purpose in every decision He makes. Jesus healed people many times, but His healings were always with purpose and intent." Amen to that! Wow again. She had more to say, but you get the idea. I keep asking for signs and messages and He continues to send them whether I am listening or not. And for that I am very thankful.
Well, it's getting late and we have a big day tomorrow. We have a show time of 5:45am with a predicted start time of 8:30. I will do my best to post from my phone and let you know how it is going.
And please continue to pray - we are not out of the woods just yet, but I see the light and it looks a lot like Jesus!
Oh, I need to share something else. You know how I told you that God looked like a wonderful basket of cut fruit? Here are a couple more for ya:
God looks like a retired man walking up and down the street in his bare feet looking to borrow jumper cables to jump start our van.
God looks like another retired family that says: I will take your mother-in-law to the hospital when ever you need her.
God looks like a family that showed up at our house this evening with a spaghetti dinner after a long day doing pre-op stuff.
God looks like another family that will be going to the airport late tomorrow night to bring our babysitter to help with the kids.
And God looks like that babysitter who was supposed to come out to spend Spring break but now wouldn't want to be anywhere else during this time in our lives.
Keep praying! They're working!!
Peace (and JOY) to all who read...
It does not take a CSI to see the fingerprints of God all over this one. I eluded to messages of hope over the last week or so. But to be honest, I did not want to believe them. I am hoping, praying and CLAIMING a complete cure for the love of my life. My heart did not want to accept anything less than that. And I still don't. But I know God's plan is perfect. End of story. I think I am starting to believe... It started when (as I mentioned in an earlier post) I was looking for a scripture to use in my Beth Moore Scripture memory group. And low and behold, the Lord gave me, not what I was looking for, but what I needed. I left the house, right after that, to go be an escort for a member of Steve's staff that had a medical appointment. I grabbed the book I was reading and the next in the series (just in case I finished the first) and headed out the door. When I got to the hospital, I noticed the title of what I was reading "Test of Faith." Hmmm... interesting. It's just a cutesy Guide Post Series, so the titles are kind of irrelevant to me. They are feel good stories. But then I looked at the title of the next one - "The Best is Yet to be!" That Robert Browning quote was spoken about us on our wedding video by Steve's mom. Yes, I cried. Been doing a lot of that. So I sat down and started reading while Tina was in her appointment and there in the first couple of pages was a portion of the scripture I had been looking for. The character in the book cries, "Kate, get a hold of your self. God did not give you a spirit of fear!" Whoa. It was like a gift from God. I know, it's just a quote. But I really felt like God kept me from finding it so that He could give it to me personally. It's great to work for something, but isn't it wonderful when someone, out of the blue, just gives it to you, no strings attached? That scripture meant so much more that way. On Thursday night, when we knew were going in to get results the next morning, I pulled out a book by Beth Moore called "Jesus Day by Day." I had picked it up at Family Christian one day (it was on sale) and thought, "It's Beth Moore, I'm sure I will enjoy it." I put it on my night stand some time during the Christmas season and never opened it. Until Thursday, that is. I started flipping through the pages just looking and not feeling drawn to any particular passage. You know those ribbon like bookmarks that are attached to books? Well, this one had one. For reason I found myself looking to see what passage had been marked by the bookmaker. You wonder if they have a particular reason for where they place it, or is it just stuck in the center of the book. Well the passage that was marked spoke of how Satan's most effective device is to trap us over matters of faith - to make us doubt the goodness and mightiness of Christ! She also says: the hand of God is at work directing divine purpose and blessing in all the affairs of those who don't let perceived activity or inactivity of Christ trap them or make them stumble. Wow. You would think that would have been enough for me. But it wasn't, cuz there was a little more bookmark that would have stuck out at the bottom had it not been tucked up in another section of the book. Of, course, I went there. Here is what was there: "Try as I might, I cannot imagine what purpose some illnesses and premature deaths serve. But after years of loving and seeking my God, I trust who He is even when I have no idea what He's doing. Above all things, I believe God always has a purpose in every decision He makes. Jesus healed people many times, but His healings were always with purpose and intent." Amen to that! Wow again. She had more to say, but you get the idea. I keep asking for signs and messages and He continues to send them whether I am listening or not. And for that I am very thankful.
Well, it's getting late and we have a big day tomorrow. We have a show time of 5:45am with a predicted start time of 8:30. I will do my best to post from my phone and let you know how it is going.
And please continue to pray - we are not out of the woods just yet, but I see the light and it looks a lot like Jesus!
Oh, I need to share something else. You know how I told you that God looked like a wonderful basket of cut fruit? Here are a couple more for ya:
God looks like a retired man walking up and down the street in his bare feet looking to borrow jumper cables to jump start our van.
God looks like another retired family that says: I will take your mother-in-law to the hospital when ever you need her.
God looks like a family that showed up at our house this evening with a spaghetti dinner after a long day doing pre-op stuff.
God looks like another family that will be going to the airport late tomorrow night to bring our babysitter to help with the kids.
And God looks like that babysitter who was supposed to come out to spend Spring break but now wouldn't want to be anywhere else during this time in our lives.
Keep praying! They're working!!
Peace (and JOY) to all who read...
Monday, March 9, 2009
Surgery is scheduled
This is just a quick update for those following this:
Steve is having surgery on Friday at 6am! But first we have to get through the PET Scan on Wednesday and our prayer for that is that is shows nothing but what is already there.
We have a long recovery ahead of us. A week in the hospital with some of that in ICU. And then a month at home and them some chemo...
I KNOW God can take this away. I know that He can heal Steve. I just don't know if that is in His plan, and that's what scares me.
Please pray!!!!
Some of my posts will be from my iphone at the hospital. So please forgive any spelling or grammar errors!
Peace to all who read...
Steve is having surgery on Friday at 6am! But first we have to get through the PET Scan on Wednesday and our prayer for that is that is shows nothing but what is already there.
We have a long recovery ahead of us. A week in the hospital with some of that in ICU. And then a month at home and them some chemo...
I KNOW God can take this away. I know that He can heal Steve. I just don't know if that is in His plan, and that's what scares me.
Please pray!!!!
Some of my posts will be from my iphone at the hospital. So please forgive any spelling or grammar errors!
Peace to all who read...
Whine Alert #1
Okay, this is just a quick post to whine for a moment. Feel free to quit reading right now, I will understand. I hate whining - especially mine. It really gets on my nerves. But our last 24 hours would almost be funny, if it weren't for this cancer thing. But I need to vent...
Since I last posted here is was has been happening:
1. Steve takes van to get gas and is sideswiped by an SUV that never knows he hit us and drives away. Steve gets all the info, but now how to proceed - calling USAA today. Major dings and scratches, that's all.
2. Battery dies on same vehicle - yes, Steve did leave the keys in it, but sheesh...could it not hold a charge??? And our jumper cables are missing!
3. Washing machine decided that, for political reasons, it will no longer spin during the spin cycle. I guess the washer is having a Bill O'Reilly moment.
Okay - I have had it. Can't we just have the cancer please? Who thought I would ever say that? There is $$ in the bank to cover any and all of the expenses that will occur from the above mentioned. But it just seems like all this little stuff - and that what it is - little stuff, is beating us down.
This is going to be an exhausting week - trying to be at Dr.'s appointment, be home or elsewhere to get repairs done, tie up all those loose ends I mentioned in the last post AND try and make this week of Spring Break somewhat normal for the kids (squeezing in trips to SeaWorld & Six Flags).
Okay enough whining...
I now return you to your regular programing.
Peace to all who read...
Since I last posted here is was has been happening:
1. Steve takes van to get gas and is sideswiped by an SUV that never knows he hit us and drives away. Steve gets all the info, but now how to proceed - calling USAA today. Major dings and scratches, that's all.
2. Battery dies on same vehicle - yes, Steve did leave the keys in it, but sheesh...could it not hold a charge??? And our jumper cables are missing!
3. Washing machine decided that, for political reasons, it will no longer spin during the spin cycle. I guess the washer is having a Bill O'Reilly moment.
Okay - I have had it. Can't we just have the cancer please? Who thought I would ever say that? There is $$ in the bank to cover any and all of the expenses that will occur from the above mentioned. But it just seems like all this little stuff - and that what it is - little stuff, is beating us down.
This is going to be an exhausting week - trying to be at Dr.'s appointment, be home or elsewhere to get repairs done, tie up all those loose ends I mentioned in the last post AND try and make this week of Spring Break somewhat normal for the kids (squeezing in trips to SeaWorld & Six Flags).
Okay enough whining...
I now return you to your regular programing.
Peace to all who read...
Sunday, March 8, 2009
A brief calm before the storm...
Hubby and the kids are out of the house working on Pinewood Derby cars. Didn't realize that I would have some time to myself today - or any day in the next few weeks. But I am glad I do.
The words that have freely flowed (in my eyes) when I sit at this keyboard, are kinda stuck. One moment I feel like I have the answers and the peace. And the next moment...not so much.
I held up amazingly well when we were in the doc's office. I heard what we needed to hear. I knew the plan and I knew that the prognosis was good. But even that is difficult to hear because it is not just your routine, "Oh he will be fine when this is all over with." Those answers come out something like,"We are looking at a 70% survival rate for 5 years or more..." or something to that effect. Before all this started you always think you have %100 chance of being where you want to be in 5, 10 or 25 years. And yes, 70 is good. But it's not a guarantee. And I do know that there are no guarantees, but when staring it in the face, you realize what you are up against. I want to hear that he has a 70%chance of getting picked up for Air War College or getting selected for Full Colonel. We are celebrating around here in TX if we have a prediction of 70% chance of rain. But when it comes to a loved one, ANYTHING less than %100 is not acceptable. Here is another "percentage" for ya - of all lung cancer patients, 10% have never used tobacco products. Gee...Steve is in an elite group. Think we would rather pass on that membership.
I still firmly believe that God is in control of all of this. But it sure doesn't make the waiting any easier. I have moments when I am on the phone or chatting with someone where I feel really good and feel the hope in all of this. Then I can turn around in the next breath and swallowed up in sadness. I get dizzy and nauseous and feel like I can't breathe and wonder where God is in all of this. I have to hide those moments from the kids. So I have been in my closet a lot lately. Steve understands, but I know I am not making it any easier on him. I constantly find myself apologizing to him, but he just smiles and says, "Well, one of us has to be calm, cool and collected, and one of us has to be the frayed nerve. Which do you want to be?" But I am just tired of unraveling. I keep finding what I feel are messages of hope from God. But I am scared to believe them because I never thought that God would allow the news we got on Friday.
I have been analyzing the words in Jeremiah 29:11 (the Message) in the last several days preparing myself for this time. "I know what I am doing. I have it all planned out -" Okay, that is why we are here. Got it. Couldn't be more plain. "...plans to take care of you and not abandon you,..." Yep, already seeing it. The doc is moving quickly. Friends and family are the ready to come out, come over, and do what ever is necessary. We know we are not alone in all of this. It's that last line of the scripture that gets me, "...plans to give you the future you hope for." My future involves that big goofy guy who has 3 children that look just like him and love him more than he knows. My future is to spend our retirement going to every baseball stadium in the US with one of the biggest Johnny Bench fans. My future includes getting out all of our children's wooden Thomas trains and setting up a Thomas wonderland for our grandkids with one of the most obnoxious train nuts I have even been blessed to know.
So, I have been arguing with God. And bargaining, I'm sure. I have heard a lot lately about those strong in faith doubting God (not that I place my self in that category) - our pastor preached on John Wesley's doubting this morning. It doesn't feel like doubting, though. I argue with Him as if I could change His mind. And although I know His plan is PERFECT (no bones about that), I wonder how could putting our family and my husband through this be perfect. So I cry out (when no one is around, hopefully) and try to understand. I am so ready to turn this tapestry of our life over and see the beautiful work that God has woven. I am already sick of seeing the back - full of loose threads (me), knots (Steve) and a mess(the cancer).
Tomorrow is a big day. We have an 11am appointment with the chest surgeon for our initial consult. We are hoping he will move as swiftly as the other docs have. We don't feel anything is being rushed here. There have not been any real decisions to make. His stage and type of cancer warrant surgery. End of story. Okay, we could have probably talked about other options. But this is the way they treat it. Get it out. We are okay with that. We did not invite it in in the first place.
And on Wednesday is an even bigger day. Steve has a PET Scan to check the rest of his body for "hot spots." AKA - more cancer. I think I am the most fearful of this appointment. Nothing more to say about that.
There is so much we need to do to ready ourselves for all of this. When you are staring such major surgery in the face, you realize,"OMG! I have too many loose ends out there." And begins the tying of those ends...
1. Continue to press the AF to send another W2 for our dity move so we can file our taxes.
2. Get the cars registered here - tags expire this month
3. Get Pinewood Derby cars made - race is on the 21st
4. Get Mom out here to take care of the kids. They NEED normalcy. And Mom is as close as we are going to get... :-)
I know that I have more followers of this blog now. Initially I never told anyone about it. If they found it fine. And the initial intent of the blog (back in Dec) was to vent about the Air Force. And how Steve & I remain Christian and sane in a very political climate. And we struggle with adjusting and how God always comes through. But I guess that will change here for a while. I have a facebook account (as does Steve), but I don't feel comfortable sharing the ins and outs of our cancer (and yes, it is OUR cancer - it is not just Steve's) although I have friends who do use their accounts for that. But, as I am able, I will post. On good days, I might "wax poetic" on how wonderful God has been in all this and some days I might send a quick blurb from my iPhone because that is all I can muster. We want people to know, but we are not making this our mantra. We are the Gibsons. We love our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. He has blessed us with 3 wonderful children. Steve is the proud commander of the 331st TRS, Asst. Cubmaster to our boys Pack and oh by the way - he is battling cancer right now.
We look forward to the day where this is nothing more than a part of our testimony. Another obstacle that God got us through. And He will, it's how He plans on doing it that gives me hope and scares me all at the same time. He has only good things for us. God couldn't have given me anything better than Steve. How do you perfect that?
So feel free to stop by and see what's up. You might be surprised by my hopefulness one day or tune out the next because of my anger that I might aim at God. But that is okay, He is ready for it. I think He expects it. I think He would rather have my honesty than my poetry.
Peace to all who read...
The words that have freely flowed (in my eyes) when I sit at this keyboard, are kinda stuck. One moment I feel like I have the answers and the peace. And the next moment...not so much.
I held up amazingly well when we were in the doc's office. I heard what we needed to hear. I knew the plan and I knew that the prognosis was good. But even that is difficult to hear because it is not just your routine, "Oh he will be fine when this is all over with." Those answers come out something like,"We are looking at a 70% survival rate for 5 years or more..." or something to that effect. Before all this started you always think you have %100 chance of being where you want to be in 5, 10 or 25 years. And yes, 70 is good. But it's not a guarantee. And I do know that there are no guarantees, but when staring it in the face, you realize what you are up against. I want to hear that he has a 70%chance of getting picked up for Air War College or getting selected for Full Colonel. We are celebrating around here in TX if we have a prediction of 70% chance of rain. But when it comes to a loved one, ANYTHING less than %100 is not acceptable. Here is another "percentage" for ya - of all lung cancer patients, 10% have never used tobacco products. Gee...Steve is in an elite group. Think we would rather pass on that membership.
I still firmly believe that God is in control of all of this. But it sure doesn't make the waiting any easier. I have moments when I am on the phone or chatting with someone where I feel really good and feel the hope in all of this. Then I can turn around in the next breath and swallowed up in sadness. I get dizzy and nauseous and feel like I can't breathe and wonder where God is in all of this. I have to hide those moments from the kids. So I have been in my closet a lot lately. Steve understands, but I know I am not making it any easier on him. I constantly find myself apologizing to him, but he just smiles and says, "Well, one of us has to be calm, cool and collected, and one of us has to be the frayed nerve. Which do you want to be?" But I am just tired of unraveling. I keep finding what I feel are messages of hope from God. But I am scared to believe them because I never thought that God would allow the news we got on Friday.
I have been analyzing the words in Jeremiah 29:11 (the Message) in the last several days preparing myself for this time. "I know what I am doing. I have it all planned out -" Okay, that is why we are here. Got it. Couldn't be more plain. "...plans to take care of you and not abandon you,..." Yep, already seeing it. The doc is moving quickly. Friends and family are the ready to come out, come over, and do what ever is necessary. We know we are not alone in all of this. It's that last line of the scripture that gets me, "...plans to give you the future you hope for." My future involves that big goofy guy who has 3 children that look just like him and love him more than he knows. My future is to spend our retirement going to every baseball stadium in the US with one of the biggest Johnny Bench fans. My future includes getting out all of our children's wooden Thomas trains and setting up a Thomas wonderland for our grandkids with one of the most obnoxious train nuts I have even been blessed to know.
So, I have been arguing with God. And bargaining, I'm sure. I have heard a lot lately about those strong in faith doubting God (not that I place my self in that category) - our pastor preached on John Wesley's doubting this morning. It doesn't feel like doubting, though. I argue with Him as if I could change His mind. And although I know His plan is PERFECT (no bones about that), I wonder how could putting our family and my husband through this be perfect. So I cry out (when no one is around, hopefully) and try to understand. I am so ready to turn this tapestry of our life over and see the beautiful work that God has woven. I am already sick of seeing the back - full of loose threads (me), knots (Steve) and a mess(the cancer).
Tomorrow is a big day. We have an 11am appointment with the chest surgeon for our initial consult. We are hoping he will move as swiftly as the other docs have. We don't feel anything is being rushed here. There have not been any real decisions to make. His stage and type of cancer warrant surgery. End of story. Okay, we could have probably talked about other options. But this is the way they treat it. Get it out. We are okay with that. We did not invite it in in the first place.
And on Wednesday is an even bigger day. Steve has a PET Scan to check the rest of his body for "hot spots." AKA - more cancer. I think I am the most fearful of this appointment. Nothing more to say about that.
There is so much we need to do to ready ourselves for all of this. When you are staring such major surgery in the face, you realize,"OMG! I have too many loose ends out there." And begins the tying of those ends...
1. Continue to press the AF to send another W2 for our dity move so we can file our taxes.
2. Get the cars registered here - tags expire this month
3. Get Pinewood Derby cars made - race is on the 21st
4. Get Mom out here to take care of the kids. They NEED normalcy. And Mom is as close as we are going to get... :-)
I know that I have more followers of this blog now. Initially I never told anyone about it. If they found it fine. And the initial intent of the blog (back in Dec) was to vent about the Air Force. And how Steve & I remain Christian and sane in a very political climate. And we struggle with adjusting and how God always comes through. But I guess that will change here for a while. I have a facebook account (as does Steve), but I don't feel comfortable sharing the ins and outs of our cancer (and yes, it is OUR cancer - it is not just Steve's) although I have friends who do use their accounts for that. But, as I am able, I will post. On good days, I might "wax poetic" on how wonderful God has been in all this and some days I might send a quick blurb from my iPhone because that is all I can muster. We want people to know, but we are not making this our mantra. We are the Gibsons. We love our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. He has blessed us with 3 wonderful children. Steve is the proud commander of the 331st TRS, Asst. Cubmaster to our boys Pack and oh by the way - he is battling cancer right now.
We look forward to the day where this is nothing more than a part of our testimony. Another obstacle that God got us through. And He will, it's how He plans on doing it that gives me hope and scares me all at the same time. He has only good things for us. God couldn't have given me anything better than Steve. How do you perfect that?
So feel free to stop by and see what's up. You might be surprised by my hopefulness one day or tune out the next because of my anger that I might aim at God. But that is okay, He is ready for it. I think He expects it. I think He would rather have my honesty than my poetry.
Peace to all who read...
Saturday, March 7, 2009
This is what God looks like...
This was delivered to our house this morning. We were overwhelmed. I wanted to call and thank the family personally, but talking about all of this gets difficult. And I don't want the kids to be reminded at every turn what we are going thru. Their daddy is still that - their daddy. We don't want this diagnosis to be a label or an excuse for the way we live our life over the next few weeks and months.
Peace to all who read...
Hindsight is 20/20
But Spiritual hindsight is 20/10! Our path to this point in our lives could not be more crystal clear. Wow! God's timing is more than perfect. And He does have it all planned out. And He is good ALL the time.
Our Journey begins about a year and half ago.
Steve (having made the first cut for the VE board - the Space career field Squadron Commander's selection) got the call from his boss that he had been selected for a command job at a space squadron (somewhere other than where we are now). The list was not officially out, but we trusted in the fact that this 2 star equiv was going on good authority to share this info. He was given this info from someone higher ranking than himself. Who knew that someone even "higher ranking" than that had other plans. On Friday before the release of the list on Tuesday, Steve's name was still on the list. On Monday afternoon, he was not. Several jobs and selections had been moved around, but Steve was the only one not on the list that was on there on Friday. Why? Squadron Command was all Steve wanted. Anything beyond that would have been gravy. And there was some other factors too that made this even harder to swallow, but let's just agree that we felt like we had been given the shaft. Try and we might, we tried to live out Jeremiah 29:11, but our praises to God for His perfect plan were probably hollow. Eventually we were able to let it go and move on. All this time, though, we knew his name had been placed in the Recruiting/Training Command hat. And in January of 2008 we got the OFFICIAL notification that he had been selected for the 331st TRS. No taking this back. We saw the announcement! We were headed to Lackland AFB in San Antonio, TX. Never in a million years would we have thought we would be in San Antonio. Just never on the radar for us. Because Steve's dream of squadron command was coming true, we "gave God the praise" for fulfilling our plans. It seems so easy to praise God when good things are happening. Now fast forward to January 2009. It's 3 days into the new year. Grandma Gibson is on life support in a hospital in TN. We are mentally planning for that "unplanned" trip to TN in the very near future. So, Steve decides that he better get on the roof and take down the Christmas lights or they may be up until Valentine's Day. While coming down from the second floor roof to the first floor roof, the ladder slips. He falls. Upon initial physical inspection, he is sore, but can continue taking down the last few lights. He later "motrins up" and chalks it up to stupidity or something like it. A few days later, Grandma dies and we head to TN for the funeral. After we return from TN, Steve decides to go to the Dr. because his ribs just aren't getting any better. They x-ray him and find 2 broke ribs. And...something they can't identify. Let's do a CT scan. Now they see 3 broke ribs and "something they can't identify." Okay, let's repeat the scan in a few weeks to see if that "something" goes away. Three weeks later - it's still there. Time for a bronchoscopy and a needle biopsy. And that puts us in Dr. V's office at 11:15 yesterday morning. It is not the answer we had hoped for. But it is the journey God has placed us on. And it is completely the reason we are where we are. Had he not fallen off the roof, they would have NEVER found it - until it was too late. The Doc said that himself. And we are in an area where we are getting very expedited medical care - not because of a need for urgency, but because they know that is what we want. Had we been anywhere else, we might still be waiting to see a civilian pulmonologist and now we are scheduled to see a chest surgeon on Monday! God is good all the time. We are truly believe this. They are not hollow and empty praises.
A lot of my quiet time happens on the road on Thursday and Friday mornings when I am heading to the base for the Airman's Run and BMT Graduation. Well, yesterday when I was headed to graduation, I was having my usual dialogue with God. Okay - if you know me, I am doing most of the talking, but I am fleshing out things that confuse me and things that keep me from fully relying on God. I know He works through that for me. He has to. And when I talk to Him, I might have one of my "Out of the mouth of blondes" moments. Have you ever had someone plan a surprise for you? You know, one of those times, when you knew they were doing something for you, something wonderful, but you did not know the details? My most wonderful hubby has done that for me a number of times. And I always think that maybe I know just little better what would make his plan go smoothly for me. If only he would give me a few of the details so that I could "help" him do the best for me. That is what I do with God. I know He only has wonderful plans for me and my family, but if only He would open up a little about the details so that I could "help" Him get it right and make it go more smoothly. Is that funny or what?
There is so much more about His messages of hope for me, but I will save that for another post. And those have been pretty cool too. But it's late - or early depending on how you look at it.
For those of you who I am friends with on Facebook, I will not be post "details" too much on there. It's not that we are hiding anything. We just don't think that Facebook is the venue for disclosing all of that. Feel free to ask! Send me an e-mail! We will keep you up to date on everything. But if we could, we would like to keep phone calls to a minimum when the kids are home. They know what is going on, but we need to keep things normal for their sakes and always being on the phone rehashing out all that we are going through is not good for them.
Cue the "Indiana Jones" theme music - and so the journey continues!
Peace to all who read...
Our Journey begins about a year and half ago.
Steve (having made the first cut for the VE board - the Space career field Squadron Commander's selection) got the call from his boss that he had been selected for a command job at a space squadron (somewhere other than where we are now). The list was not officially out, but we trusted in the fact that this 2 star equiv was going on good authority to share this info. He was given this info from someone higher ranking than himself. Who knew that someone even "higher ranking" than that had other plans. On Friday before the release of the list on Tuesday, Steve's name was still on the list. On Monday afternoon, he was not. Several jobs and selections had been moved around, but Steve was the only one not on the list that was on there on Friday. Why? Squadron Command was all Steve wanted. Anything beyond that would have been gravy. And there was some other factors too that made this even harder to swallow, but let's just agree that we felt like we had been given the shaft. Try and we might, we tried to live out Jeremiah 29:11, but our praises to God for His perfect plan were probably hollow. Eventually we were able to let it go and move on. All this time, though, we knew his name had been placed in the Recruiting/Training Command hat. And in January of 2008 we got the OFFICIAL notification that he had been selected for the 331st TRS. No taking this back. We saw the announcement! We were headed to Lackland AFB in San Antonio, TX. Never in a million years would we have thought we would be in San Antonio. Just never on the radar for us. Because Steve's dream of squadron command was coming true, we "gave God the praise" for fulfilling our plans. It seems so easy to praise God when good things are happening. Now fast forward to January 2009. It's 3 days into the new year. Grandma Gibson is on life support in a hospital in TN. We are mentally planning for that "unplanned" trip to TN in the very near future. So, Steve decides that he better get on the roof and take down the Christmas lights or they may be up until Valentine's Day. While coming down from the second floor roof to the first floor roof, the ladder slips. He falls. Upon initial physical inspection, he is sore, but can continue taking down the last few lights. He later "motrins up" and chalks it up to stupidity or something like it. A few days later, Grandma dies and we head to TN for the funeral. After we return from TN, Steve decides to go to the Dr. because his ribs just aren't getting any better. They x-ray him and find 2 broke ribs. And...something they can't identify. Let's do a CT scan. Now they see 3 broke ribs and "something they can't identify." Okay, let's repeat the scan in a few weeks to see if that "something" goes away. Three weeks later - it's still there. Time for a bronchoscopy and a needle biopsy. And that puts us in Dr. V's office at 11:15 yesterday morning. It is not the answer we had hoped for. But it is the journey God has placed us on. And it is completely the reason we are where we are. Had he not fallen off the roof, they would have NEVER found it - until it was too late. The Doc said that himself. And we are in an area where we are getting very expedited medical care - not because of a need for urgency, but because they know that is what we want. Had we been anywhere else, we might still be waiting to see a civilian pulmonologist and now we are scheduled to see a chest surgeon on Monday! God is good all the time. We are truly believe this. They are not hollow and empty praises.
A lot of my quiet time happens on the road on Thursday and Friday mornings when I am heading to the base for the Airman's Run and BMT Graduation. Well, yesterday when I was headed to graduation, I was having my usual dialogue with God. Okay - if you know me, I am doing most of the talking, but I am fleshing out things that confuse me and things that keep me from fully relying on God. I know He works through that for me. He has to. And when I talk to Him, I might have one of my "Out of the mouth of blondes" moments. Have you ever had someone plan a surprise for you? You know, one of those times, when you knew they were doing something for you, something wonderful, but you did not know the details? My most wonderful hubby has done that for me a number of times. And I always think that maybe I know just little better what would make his plan go smoothly for me. If only he would give me a few of the details so that I could "help" him do the best for me. That is what I do with God. I know He only has wonderful plans for me and my family, but if only He would open up a little about the details so that I could "help" Him get it right and make it go more smoothly. Is that funny or what?
There is so much more about His messages of hope for me, but I will save that for another post. And those have been pretty cool too. But it's late - or early depending on how you look at it.
For those of you who I am friends with on Facebook, I will not be post "details" too much on there. It's not that we are hiding anything. We just don't think that Facebook is the venue for disclosing all of that. Feel free to ask! Send me an e-mail! We will keep you up to date on everything. But if we could, we would like to keep phone calls to a minimum when the kids are home. They know what is going on, but we need to keep things normal for their sakes and always being on the phone rehashing out all that we are going through is not good for them.
Cue the "Indiana Jones" theme music - and so the journey continues!
Peace to all who read...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)